CHARITY BEGINS IN COLUMBUS

If you keep reminding yourself that it’s for charity, you should enjoy Bill McCorkle’s ‘Bowlers Are Funny People.’ Especially the ending..
by Johnny Campos

With apologies to Rocky Balboa from the movie “Rocky III,” sometimes charity really hurts.

I say this only after watching a video called “Bowlers Are Funny People,” a tape written, directed, narrated, produced by and starring (?) Professional Bowlers Association member Bill McCorkle. Proceeds from the sale of this video will benefit the Children’s Hospital of Columbus, Ohio, McCorkle’s hometown.

That’s an important thing to keep reminding yourself if you happen to purchase a copy of this tape. It’s for charity. It’s what I had to do when I was watching McCorkle’s masterpiece — all 105 minutes of it. It took me a while, but I did it in shifts (which is the way I recommend you watch it). It’s not bowling’s version of “Ishtar” or anything (after all, there will always be “Dreamer”), but it could have been a tad shorter. Maybe McCorkle didn’t want to hurt any of his buddies’ feelings by editing them out of the film.

The first thing you’ll probably notice about the video is that there is a very, very big emphasis on bowlers from the Columbus area. That wouldn’t be so bad if, for instance, Randy Pedersen lived there. Randy, the would-be comic on the PBA Tour, didn’t even make a cameo appearance in the film. That certainly isn’t giving away any big secret or anything. It’s not like I’m telling the world that Bruce Willis was dead during most of “The Sixth Sense” or that Arnold Schwarzenegger kills himself in “End of Days.”

This bowling video (filled with canned laughter) originally was intended for bowlers around central Ohio. But once McCorkle started getting guys like Dick Weber (not from Columbus), Don Johnson (not from Columbus, but has a son there) and Roy Buckley (PBA Hall of Famer from Columbus) involved, it apparently started getting some notice outside the Columbus area.

McCorkle admits that most of the humor is subtle and probably can only be appreciated by bowlers (especially by people who know some of the Columbus “stars” that are featured). He even tried to get in the good graces of this magazine by sneaking in a plug from BJI’s own George Wooten, who just happens to be an Ohio State ex. Maybe in McCorkle’s sequel, he could focus on funny Texas bowlers, and maybe get a plug from a University of Texas ex. The only Texan shown in action during the film was Austin’s Robert Lawrence, Jimmy Johnson’s victim in the title game of the 1990 Brunswick Memorial World Open.

Some of the skits are corny, there is some slapstick, and the sound quality isn’t always the greatest. But, hey! It’s for charity, remember?

There are funny bits scattered throughout the video, including a particularly good one about Jimmy Johnson (of Columbus) getting a bowling lesson over the phone from former Buckeye/Miami Dolphins quarterback Jim Karsatos. There are also several other phone lessons involving a former Buckeye/NFL punter (Tom Skladany), a major league pitcher (Ed Winston) and a Russian heavyweight boxer (Alex Zolkin).

Another good skit involved PBA veterans Ed Thomas and Columbus transplant Sam Flanagan. I didn’t know that Thomas took his time on the approach (which he apparently does), but Flanagan was well-known as a human rain delay on the approach during PBA tournaments. McCorkle gets a lot of mileage out of this... probably a little too much.

Buckley is pretty good in the flick, doing a good job in a skit involving the music he thinks about when he bowls. (Speaking about that, McCorkle might raise more money for charity by selling a soundtrack from the video — maybe even writing a song called “Love Theme from Bowlers are Funny People.” McCorkle does manage to include some great oldies in the film.)

The best feature about the video, however, is some of the historic bowling footage. Most of it involves Weber, including the Hall of Famer knocking down his 100,000th pin at the American Bowling Congress Tournament last year in Syracuse, N.Y. There is also some footage from “Championship Bowling” that includes a closing march of PBA greats like Carmen Salvino, Harry “The Tiger” Smith and others. That’s worth the price of admission itself. Unfortunately, Weber’s comic talents are not well- utilized in the film. Many of his interviews appear to be held in a wind tunnel of some kind. The sound is so bad, McCorkle has to use subtitles so people know what Weber is saying (really).

Overall, the movie is just some good, clean, wholesome family entertainment. (McCorkle even includes a warning that there is no frontal nudity in the movie. But I decided to watch it anyway.)

Keep that in mind if you order a copy of the video, which I hope you do, for charity’s sake. It’s for a good cause, and at the end you’ll be able to savor (as I did) finally being able to say, “Good-bye, Columbus.”

“Bowlers are Funny People” can be purchased by calling 877-WE-R-FUNY (877-937-3869) or via the Internet at (www.funnybowlers.com).